*Chapter III – Emerald Tear Drops*
Updated: Apr 15
Last night, I saw you again, after quite some time, since you left. I was so glad to be by your side, even if I knew you'd leave once more. When I looked into your eyes, there was a sadness I knew so well. My heart felt overshadowed by a love restrained, burning my soul and thus creating my deepest of wounds. I wished to hold you one last time, just before your departure, alas I could not do so. My chance was now and needless to say, I took advantage of the situation and held you to my heart's content. I remember so clearly, you were wearing that green T-shirt with the almighty three artwork. Green is the colour which reminds me of you. That and the scent of fresh mint. You liked mint so much and I ended up liking it as well, just because of you. You had no idea what was about to happen that night. You followed your heart and I followed you.
That's how it was meant to be. I didn't let you go there alone and I'm more than glad that I chose to do so. Our time together was short, last night. I only managed to hold you for a few seconds. However, I could still cares your long black hair. Oh how I missed playing with those curls. You were not a big fan of me doing so but somehow, you never said anything about it. Nothing lasts forever, I know that very well. Our hearts can change, for we are only humans. Feelings of love can so easily be blown away, like a candle in the rain. In my case, that shall never happen, no matter how sharp the wind or how heavy the November rain is. After that night, at the end of October, we've been through so much pain and sufferance, impossible to describe through words. We struggled to win, we fought to live. For that, I thank you. You were brave till the very end. That's just another reason why I'll love you till the day I die. Since you went away, I've been thinking about our story. Oh what a wonderful story it was! We almost had it all. We had kisses in the rain, we had trips with memories to last a lifetime and last but not least, we had each other when we needed * us * the most. Lovers always come and lovers always go, leaving unforgettable traces in our hearts. Until recently, I wasn't really sure who's letting go, walking away. We both are. I'm here and you're there. It's as simple as that. My journey on this land continues to unfold.
Your journey continues as well, in a land which is parallel to mine. I shall travel alongside you but we are unable to intertwine. My heart aches each time I think of our fate but I know you're well and that is crucial for me. I wonder, don't you wish that we could steal a bit more time together so that we could re-align our story, heartbeat by heartbeat? I could rest my head on your shoulder, just knowing that you were all mine. I am proud to say that I loved you with all my heart. The fact that I cannot see you and say it to you everyday, does not mean that I shall ever stop loving you. I hope you'll do the same, wherever you are. You loved me, I know you did. I hope you'll continue to love me as much as I do, regardless of our parallel worlds. Your departure is not a good enough reason for me to not care deeply about you, my black haired angel. After 30th October, I've had quite a lot of time on my own. I've realized that I needed to be alone, in order to find answers. Some questions have remained unsolved to this day and they shall remain like that, perhaps till the end of time. You needed some time on your own too, didn't you? A few moments to think things through, to gather all your strength and fight. When I found out you had left, my entire world was shaken. Where had you gone? Why so soon? I didn't even get to say goodbye. The rain was so cold on that grey November morning.
The night before, I thought about you, with my heart covered in lead. Tears rolled down my cheeks, for no apparent reason, that's what I though at first. My heart knew of your departure. My mind was the one not coping with the information. It was then when I needed to be on my own, I needed some time alone, to comprehend what had happened, to allow my mind and soul to sync, thus creating a plan of action, for I had no idea what was going to happen next. I admit, I was afraid to live in a world in which you are not present, with shadows of those wonderful times we spend together springing into mind each and every time I see or hear something which instantly reminds me of you. Not any more. Not a single day passes by without me thinking about you. So never mind the darkness, we shall always find a way back to each other. Nothing lasts forever, even the cold November rain. I know I'll see you again, in my dreams. That's the only choice we've got in order to break the parallelism of our worlds, even for just a few seconds. Sometimes, shortly after I wake up, there's an instant in which my mind still believes that the spell has been broken and that our worlds are intertwined once again.
Just as quickly, my mind syncs back to reality. I'll never let you miss me. You'll be forever in my heart, that's a promise. I shall never love another person, the exact way I loved you. Why? Because each of us is different and so are the feelings we develop for each other. Each love story is unique, so don't worry, you've made yours truly special. However, ever since you left, in my world, the clouds bring emerald tear drops every time it rains.
*The photograph belongs to Olivia Michalsky: link here. The song which lead me to write this second chapter is: November Rain by Guns'n'Roses. Emerald Tear Drops is dedicated to Liviu Emil Zaharescu, my black haired angel.*